When it comes to any relationship, we do not need some intense formula or strategy, to make it work. Not saying that some days it won’t feel as though this is the case. Simply saying that the only thing you need is each other. As that is where you will start to build your foundation. With one another. Creating a solid foundation from the start can lead to such an easy going, solid relationship. Again some days better than others, but majority good.
Sometimes I wonder if when people are reading my posts on the topic of relationships/marriage, they question why I would be writing posts on such a topic. As the start to my now current husband, wasn’t a Cinderella story. I don’t feel the need to clarify it all the time, but my husband and I fell in love with one another while we were still with other people. I don’t make this known to all in fear of judgement, but because I believe that the past does not define who you are today. Live in the present, and not the past. Our relationship did not start on a solid foundation. It was able to teach us how to build an unbreakable foundation when it came to our marriage though.
Not having the ideal start to our love story, is something i’m sure a lot of people can relate to. Love is messy, and hides sometimes in even the darkest of places. We as people are allowed to make mistakes, as long as we learn from those mistakes. By digging to the root of why we were straying from our previous relationships, it helped us better recognize what we both needed in one other to create a foundation of trust.
This process of finding love in each other, and forming a life with one another, has taught us many things. One thing in particular that I can tell you that every married person will say is the key ingredient to a successful marriage. COMMUNICATION. If you’re communicating all that you need to on your end, and your partner is not reciprocating in some way, then that may cause some problems. Both of you need to be fully invested in healthy communication. This doesn’t mean just communicating what YOU think is important either. Think Blink 182. All the small things. The smallest details about your day/theirs, matters. Communication all around will make both of your lives significantly easier, and less stressful. I have realized that letting my husband in on my plans, and intentions, has created a way for the both of us to plan a better life together. He definitely keeps me in check though, as some days my communication skills fall short.
Being open with one another throughout your relationship will immediately open up so much time for greater things to happen. Time spent being less upset that he didn’t understand your hidden message/mind games. Like what’s the point? True love is not a science. You do not need to type out mathematical messages to one another that they have to deconstruct.
One important piece of advice that I haven’t dropped here yet is that in order to create a life with someone else, and succeed, is that you both have to love one another with the force of a thousand lightning strikes. You will know when you’ve found that love. It took me a lot of self soul searching to find what it is I was looking for when it came to a relationship, and many years of doing all the wrong things. So I am no expert, just a woman very happily married.
We acknowledged that the start to our relationship was not as graceful as either of us would have liked it to be, but we pushed forward. We were able to recite vows to one another, and truly mean every word. We took a negative, and sought out the positive. We act out those vows every day now. With everyone watching us. Possibly even judging us for loving one another. If we let negative comments, judgement bother us, we would only set ourselves up for negative results. We didn’t/don’t need anyone’s go ahead to love each other. Enjoy every bump in the road. Fly over those bumps hand in hand, smiling from ear to ear.
Traveling through this life with my husband has been so fun thus far. We have only been married for what will be two years this September. The entire length of our relationship, we have not gotten tired of reminding one another how much we love one another. I consider myself very lucky. I’m lucky because my husband never gets tired of being the first one to say how much he adores me. I love how much he loves me. Writing this makes me think of a scene from, The Office, where Pam is talking about how Jim would never cheat on her, as he “just loves me too much”. My husband Joe, is Jim. Better in his own ways. Also Joe/Jim, Peyton/Pam. Need I say more?
Of course life will always be there to throw crazy curve balls at you both, but it’s how graceful you can dodge those curve balls. Or how quickly it takes you both to get up after being hit by one. Conquering all with love. Your love for each other can be the most powerful tool in your box. If I have learned anything yet in my marriage, it’s that I should constantly remind myself of how grateful I am. To remember to acknowledge, teach, learn, play, and support. Never lose sight of what brought us together in the first place. Make one other a priority. Doing all the above will only set you up for success moving forward.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” -Mignon McLaughlin. American Journalist & Author.