Rooting My Marriage

Being a wife has become my life. The reason for waking with a smile plastered on my face every damn morning. Given that I have only been married since this past September, I feel as though I am not warranted to give advice. So this is not advice. This is just how I am watering my marriage, as it puts its roots into my heart.

I may wake with a smile every day realizing I married the man of my dreams, but that smile can soften throughout my day as I let life’s small frustrations breathe down my neck. So no, I am not perfect, and neither is my marriage. But it’s pretty damn close. I don’t believe in taking others advice about marriage either, as every marriage is different. But I do fancy diving into online articles explaining various ways that marriages can thrive. I have already taken some tips, and applied them to my very own marriage. Tips are one thing, as you are able to morph them into what works for you and your significant other. I have had to give a little effort at some things, but most of Marriage thus far has come so natural to me. Or maybe it’s just that my husband and I are experts at give and take. Either way, I live by all these following tips, and some of them just come so natural to some people.

  1. Never letting daily frustrations cause turmoil between the two of you. If something is bothering the other person, support them, and discuss the situation with them the best you can, or even sacrifice your time to help them adjust there mood/situation.
  2. Seizing the moments in a relationship, bad or good, to grow closer. Bad being, compromising, and the other becoming grateful. Good being, creating new memories, and learning more about the other to deepen the relationship.
  3. Marriage is not just a wedding. It’s a future. You’re creating your futures foundation with another person. If you are not ready to build on this foundation, and put in the effort for the upkeep, maybe you’re not ready.
  4. Always encourage your significant other. Push them to be the best version of themselves they can possibly be. This also encourages yourself to get out there, and pave your way through life naked with everyone looking, and not giving a shit what others think.
  5. Do things that help you and your person bond. Take a trip somewhere they’ve always wanted to go. Be spontaneous, and get dessert before dinner, as your person may propose to you when you get home from doing so, *cough cough, my husband*.
  6. Always remember why you said “I Do” in the first place. If you get a crack in the foundation, find the source. Don’t just build on top of it again. Remembering that you missed your driveway driving home after your first kiss because you were overtaken with love. I remember how I was coasting through life before my husband because I was asleep, and now I’m thriving because he woke me up with that kiss.
  7. Putting your differences aside, and always put your spouse first. You may think that putting someone else first doesn’t benefit you, but in the long run it does. That person becomes grateful, and will return the favor someday.
  8. Break out of your routine. Becoming comfortable can be a good and bad thing. It’s finding the right balance of new and old in every day life. Not just for you and your partner, but even in your own habits.
  9. The only form of criticism that should be allowed in a relationship is constructive criticism. Something that your partner might already realize they need to work on. With the help of you of course. Always remember to be patient as well.
  10. Learn each other’s ways. What makes the other tick. Knowing how your partner will respond, or even what they like, makes the bigger, more important decisions a whole lot easier.
  11. Letting go of comparison. Comparing your marriage to others will never benefit you, and yours. Each marriage is made up of its very own DNA. Comparing will only set you up for disappointment.
  12. Making time for your marriage. Every second of every day counts. Think your too busy to send your wife or husband a text saying they’re the best thing to ever happen to you, think again. Your marriage is way more important than anything you could possibly be doing. It’s the little things. They add up.
  13. Doing exactly what I did to write this here blog post. Research. Reading about marriages can expand your knowledge, and maybe perhaps give you a perspective you didn’t have before.
  14. When you’re with your person, it’s their time. Put all responsibilities, and interests aside. Those are your opportunities to grow closer, or maybe have a meaningful conversation. Your IG can wait.
  15. Be their biggest fan. Supporting them in whatever it is they may do, will only have them returning the support. #powercouple
  16. Never stop adventuring. Take that spontaneous trip to the White Mountains, and you hike that mountain!
  17. Learn from your struggles. I use to have such a bad habit of walking away from an uncomfortable conversation, and now I dive head first into them. It’s so much healthier for the relationship to hash things out, then to let them fester.
  18. Never stop asking questions. There is always a story, or fact about your significant other, or even about their day they have yet to tell you. Don’t expect them to always tell you things. Ask questions!
  19. Be confident in your marriage. Kick ass with your partner, and flaunt it!
  20. Kiss more, complain less. Complaining is not the most attractive trait in a person.
  21. Simplifying your responsibilities can free up extra time you could be spending with your significant other. Put that errand off an extra day if it can wait.
  22. Never stop dating your partner. Just because your married, doesn’t mean you cant play laser tag, and act like a kid.
  23. Learn your partners love language. How do they love you, and how can you translate that into a more powerful love in return.
  24. Never stop growing as a couple. Even if you have kids, maybe you can just appreciate the littler moments you have more to make up for some lost one on one time.
  25. Never stop supporting them. My husband supporting my writing, even though I’m not a huge writer is one of the sexiest qualities about him. Thank you babe.

Again I am not writing this as advice. I am simply just noting what has been working for me thus far, and I can only develop my tips, and tricks as I get further into marriage. I just know that loving my husband, my partner in life, and the reason for living, is what motivates the hell out of me. Losing that is not an option.

One thought on “Rooting My Marriage

  1. Payton, this is a beautiful tribute to both you and Joe. God brought you two together in this incredible journey of love. We know, God doesn’t make mistakes. I have so much love and respect for both of you. Much love, Aunt Noreen

    Liked by 1 person

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